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3:00 Am Thoughts 

Have you ever loved something so much you never wanna let go? More specifically have you ever loved a person so much you would do everything you could to keep them at there happiest and healthiest. 2 years ago I fell in love. Or atleast that’s what I thought. 2 years ago I thought you were the one. 2 years ago i gave you my all and more. 2 years ago I went through constant changes because you said you “loved me”. 2 years ago I sacrificed every and any friendship you asked me to because I thought this was “love”. 2 years ago you would call me crude names I never heard used before. 2 years ago I was used for something other then “love”…. 2 years ago I was in a abusive relationship and I was the victim. 2 years ago She would go through hell every day of my life just to be in your presence. You see 2 years ago was the best and worst years of my life. 2 years ago a 15 year old girl fell in “love” with a curly haired boy with dark brown eyes and a sarcastic personality. 2 years ago this girl got closer to the boy she had a crush on and couldn’t stay away any longer. 2 years ago she thought wow this is the one for me we are getting married. 2 years ago she was mistreated and thought it was okay. 2 years ago the girl put everything but herself way before her. 2 years ago the girl did everything she could to maker her abuser happy. 2 years ago the girl was dumped for the 5th time. And this time he didn’t come back. 2 years ago the girl went through severe depression and lost all confidence and self esteem completely. 2 years ago the girl would fool around with anyone who gave her the least bit attention because she needed to feel like someone.. anyone wanted her in the least bit way. 2 years ago she lost her dignity and will to live. 2 years ago the girl tried to OD, but luckily never did. 1 year past 2 years ago the girl got the courage to talk to god. 1 year ago the girl accepted the fact that he was gone and it was time to move on. 1 year ago the girl committed to regaining old forgotten friendships and became a better person in time. 1 year ago the girl regained the confidence to allow her self to be something other then heartbroken. 1 year ago the girl rebuilt trust in people and made a promise to put effort into new friendships, new people. 1 year ago the girl met a boy in chemistry class. 1 year ago they got closer and closer with time. 1 year ago they became the best of friends. And 1 year ago the boy confessed his love to her. She was shocked. 1 year ago the boy waited a tremendous amount of time (8 months) for her to be ready for a relationship. 1 year ago the boy gave her hope, faith, and love in others. And 1 year ago he made her his. Till this day they are the happiest they have ever been. Till this day They have helped each other grow like a garden of gorgeous flowers. Till this day they laugh in the face of sadness. And till the day they die they are hopefully and eternally devoted to each other. 

-I love you sweetheart

Day(1) the concept of reality 7.24.17

Today was a hot day, 107 degrees to be exact. I ‘m not really fond of sweaty & humid conditions. if mother nature was a real person we definitely wouldn’t be friends…  as you can tell from the title this is my take on reality, as you know I am 17 and an incoming high school senior. At the moment I think “wow how lucky am I to finally ditch all those wasted hours in school that will never get back, finally i will be as free as a butterfly .” of course as human beings we change every day rather it’s our physical appearance or our way of thinking. but we will all see if that opinion that changes on my last day of high school. if I could describe how I feel about the subject of school, I would say it’s hot and cold relationship. The fact that I have to wake up at 6 AM every morning and lose countless hours of sleep for 365 days is just so… well tiring when I even think about it. then again if it weren’t for all my years of education i wouldn’t know the amazing people i know today and learned loads of things I’d need know to enter reality. I’m not really sure if there is anyone on here who isn’t an adult, but if there is and you’re happening to read this hey there how’s the teenage life treating you? well, i hope!… oh, how am i doing you ask? i would have to say just peachy. of course, i have my moments of vulnerability, there are times where my anxiety gets the best of me. most of the time i can’t think because i am scared of my own thoughts, scary as in anxious and unsure, not as in blood, guts, and Friday the 13th because the lord knows i love that sh*t. To sum it up i have developed quite a fear of being alone &  letting my mind take over. in all, my anxiety has actually been very manageable this past couple year’s all thanks to the amazing support and care i have received from my handsome and thoughtful might i add, significant other, let’s not forget my beloved family members. if i can give advice to anyone with anxiety it would be to accept the fact that you have it and to surround yourself with happy and prosperous Energies. such as family, friends or even hobbies/activities to stimulate your mind. I’ve actually heard of this one thing called puppy therapy, basically, it’s where you lay down in an empty room where it’s quiet & spacey  & wait for a bundle of puppies to dash into the room and lick your face & show you all love and affection your little heart desires. definitely sounds like my kind of atmosphere (-:. in conclusion my mind is much more mixed up and mysterious than we both could ever comprehend. until next time stay peachy.